Myth: “It’s my loved one’s fault they’re addicted.”

Truth: No one wakes up one day thinking they would like to be addicted to a substance. This happens gradually in most cases and is a result of unattended mental health issues and stressors. It takes a lot of specialized work to reduce or stop use for most people.

Myth: “If I’m not tough on my loved one, they won’t change.”

Truth: Modern research supports a more loving, understanding, and connected approach. It’s essential to show your loved one that you seek to understand them and will be there when you can to help them get the help they need.

Myth: “I’m codependent because I help them too much.”

Truth: It’s natural to want to keep your loved one from suffering. Most people would do anything they could, and sometimes it is unhelpful, but we can learn better ways to help without turning our backs on our loved ones.

Myth: “There’s something wrong with my loved one; they keep relapsing.”

Truth: Addiction is a chronic illness very similar to type II diabetes or hypertension, meaning it requires lifelong management. Relapse is no more likely with addiction than it is for these other chronic illnesses. Getting well involves changing deeply embedded behaviors. This takes time and effort and sometimes results in setbacks.

Myth: “My loved one needs to hit rock bottom before they will get better.”

Truth: This is a dangerous perspective. There can be deadly consequences to waiting to help our loved ones or allowing things to get worse when we can make different choices. People who seek help early in the process have more resources to draw upon, such as a supportive family or a job. The sooner someone gets help, the better.